I Asked For a Breast Lift

I am a slug at blogging.  Worse, I am the slime on the underbelly of a slug at blogging.  That sticky trail that you step in while going barefoot on a summer evening that adheres to your foot like gorilla glue and has to be scraped off with an old knife…. that would be me.  Gag.  Bad.   And yet I still find myself writing posts in my head.  I just can’t seem to get them into blog format.   

 

The song by the Rolling Stones…”You can’t always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need” is playing loudly in my head today.   What I want is a breast lift and liposuction on my thighs, what I’m getting is a hysterectomy.   I figure, if I’m going to have major surgery I should be able to see amazing visible results, but my SOB/GYN feels otherwise.   And so next week I will have my hateful uterus removed.  Not my ovaries mind you.  Only my uterus.  Because why would I want the bitchy part of my reproductive system removed?  No! I’ll just save those a couple more years and get all the good I can out those wildly fluctuating hormones; wreak as much havoc as I can with those babies while they’re still producing.  Besides they are probably what are keeping my breasts from touching my knees.  I thought you should know this, just in case you’re wondering what has been happening in my little world. 

My family (specifically my mother) tells me I share too much on social media.  Actually, I share very little.   But if I can make a humorous story from my everyday happenings and share it with others who might be experiencing similar circumstances, I think why not.  The mundane details are what constitute life and if you only share the amazing, you’re simply not being real.  I love real.

My impending surgery has sparked a streak of cleanliness in me that I haven’t experienced since my first pregnancy.   It’s like the nesting syndrome on steroids.   I have cleaned, straightened, and organized every corner of my house.   By the end of this week my refrigerator will be stocked and in my freezer you will find meals frozen and ready to bake.  All my towels are folded the same, beverage glasses aligned and my plastic ware sorted and stacked.   I have eliminated excess and even plan to get my hair cropped shorter.   My pantry is alphabetically arranged and an Excel spreadsheet exists with the household inventory.    If I die, I want the nosy people who come to visit my family impressed.    I’m not talking about friends who know my foibles.   They’ll laugh with me even in death.   I’m talking about the ones to whom I’m a mystery and nothing is never exactly as it appears.    I want the last glimpse of my world viewed like a quirky BBC movie.    That’s just who I am.  Or was, as the case may be.   But chances are above average that I’ll survive and in that case, I will have made my life easier for my family whilst I am bed fast.   Isn’t that what women/mother’s do? 

I’ve been somewhat reclusive for the past two months.  December is a difficult month for me.  I battle depression anyway, but I physically felt terrible too.  I wasn’t good company so I took the whole month off work.  January ushered in a raging flu season and I’ve purposefully stayed away from crowds trying to keep myself well so my surgery could stay on schedule.  I have worked in January, but I am questioning the general public’s intelligence regarding illness.   They get sick, stay home from work/school with a temperature of 104, go to the doctor, are diagnosed with bronchitis, pneumonia, strep throat and the stomach bug, then stop by the library on their way home to get movies, check Facebook and play Farmville all the while coughing, sneezing and vomiting.   Hand sanitizer and Lysol are my best friends.  It’s a mystery to me.  Stay home people!  Just stay home!

And so that is where I am on this 21st day of January, 2013, Martin Luther King Junior Day and Inauguration Day of which I’ve watched none because I’ve been too busy shopping at Hobby Lobby, eating at Chick-fil-A and cleaning my gun.  Just kidding people, just kidding.  Maybe.

Thanks for reading, Rosie.

The Tree On My Wall

Pinterest is a time sucking form of social media that inspires a wealth of creativity.  Because of this, I love Pinterest.  Not the time sucking part; the wealth of creativity part.    Over the last several months we have been redoing our family room.  The rearranging left a large wall area perfect for a minimalist mural.   I had been seeing the beautiful minimal trees on Pinterest and decided I must have one; unfortunately, I cannot draw or paint.  I can sew a straight seam; I just can’t draw a straight line.  Fortunately, I know a beautiful teenage girl who is incredibly talented and can draw or paint anything and she was gleeful to come to my assistance and do the project for me.   Since she is self-motivated in art, there was very little for me to do except give her an idea of what I wanted.   She sketched her vision for the mural which was way better than any idea of mine and set to work over a few days this summer.  The 20’ x 8’ wall became her canvas.  Plus she named all the birds.

 

Here is the result: 

She did a beautiful job and I could not be more pleased!

 

 

In the process of this project and a few other incidents that have happened with my own sons over the summer, I’ve come to determine that adults undervalue youth.  Most adults have no idea what young people are thinking and how hard they are searching for value, not for what they will eventually achieve, but for who they presently are.  I’m not simply speaking of academic or athletic achievements; I’m speaking of spiritual contributions too.   Most people believe teens are slackers who put forth little effort; yet, what I see in my world are slacker adults.  They believe the teen years should be full of entertaining social events.  The bar is set low.   When rebellion sets in, the excuse “that’s just what happens in the teen years” seems to fit.   This is wrong and unfair to the generation.

 

I’ve had the pleasure this summer to open my home to fifteen young people who have been in and out my doors almost on a daily basis.   My house and the local volleyball court were the gathering places for these beautiful people this summer and that could be for several different reasons (a) I have two cute sons (b) I have the space (c) food is always available (d) I have rules but not too many (e) they know they are always welcome.  This particular group of kids love each other and wanted to spend as much time playing and praying together as they could before some left for college, etc. 

 

I believe they feel undervalued.  I suppose that has always been a generational struggle but it seems more noticeable to me recently.   These kids are smart, talented, well spoken, generous and respectful yet are given little credit for their abilities.    They are pushed to stay in their own space, not to give an opinion, contain their zeal, and go find themselves at college.  When they get a job, marry, have children and become monetarily stable, they are acceptable adults ready to contribute to the world.   This troubles me….  I see so many teens with amazing gifts and spiritual maturity eager to contribute to their community but squelched by a generation that doesn’t understand or appreciate them.

 

So this post is for the teens that spent a large part of their summer in my house.  They did not mind the dusty, dog haired floors or the fact that my hair changed different wild shades of orange and red this summer or that my T-shirt and shorts were sometimes raggedy when they showed up.   They encouraged me to “just keep sewing” during a crazy month of June.  They tolerated a wild barking wiener dog that protects me like a 7’ body guard and the messy unmade beds.   They slept in the floor and on couches that were rearranged every time they showed up while we redid our floors.  They would be in my front porch swing chatting away when I got home from work.  They brought food, ate our food, cleaned up their messes and laughed and talked and darn it I miss them now that school is back in session.  I hope they felt valued, loved, wanted, and appreciated.   Frankly, I’d rather spend time with teens and the twenty-something crowd than most “adults” I know.   They help bring my heart to a place of worship more than anything else and I am happy to share my “walls”, “stage” and “piano bench” with them.   I love them and I hope they know they always have a soft place to land in our home.

Thanks for reading, Rosie.

Midnight Water Leak Forces Family Into Bathroom Makeover!

A recent water leak forced me to speed up a bathroom makeover I already had planned.   It was one of those holy crap mornings where an inch of water flooded the bathroom floor and plunged me into fast action.  Badumba...a little toilet humor there people!

Here are a few photos of the mess I was in about three weeks ago:

Fifteen years ago during construction, I was working full-time, hugely pregnant with my second son, and busy with activities involving my oldest son who was in first grade.  Stressful time!   Needless to say, I had very little time to think about decorating and basically threw together wallpaper, and flooring.   It was adequate.  It endured bath times, potty training, stomach bugs, and science experiments.  It was past time for a redo.   Thanks to Pinterest, I had already been making mental preparations and had an idea of what I wanted.   It came together very nicely and I am now strategically planning a midnight water leak for the master bathroom.

The new flooring looks like ceramic tile but it is actually laminate. 

I grouted to give it a modern look.  Since this is mainly the men's room,

I wanted a more masculine color scheme. 

I chose Behr's Premium Plus Ultra Interior Paint in Elephant Skin for the wall color and applied two coats.   I used a basic wood primer on the floor before applying the laminate and applied the same primer to the bathroom cabinet prior to painting.  For the cabinet color, I chose Behr's Premium Plus Ultra Paint in Black As Ink.  I also used two coats on the cabinet allowing each to dry for several hours between applications.  Do not fear black, people!  The cabinet turned out beautifully and now I want to paint every cabinet in the house black.

I kept the same hardware, soap/toothbrush holder and towel racks but purchased a new vanity mirror and light fixture.  The shower curtain and rug came from Target.

I kept the decorations simple because I can't stand clutter!

"Be Yourself"... a good motto.

I still have some floor trim painting to do but for the most part...It is finished!

If only it would stay this clean....

Thanks for reading, Rosie.

Thinking, Fast and Slow about Tim Tebow

Being true on my quest to read more non-fiction in 2012, I brought home the audio CD Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman.  Sixteen CDs of pure psychology way over my head.   Nevertheless, if I listen to information I already know, I’ll never learn anything right? 

Am I an intuitive or rational thinker?  I like to believe rational.   More likely though, as with the majority of people, I think intuitively.  Not because I’m not capable of rational thinking, I simply do not always take the extra seconds necessary to rationalize because of cognitive ease.  Mr. Khneman’s book/audio has been worth my driving time.   Daniel Egan, the reader, gently and humorously explains how the human mind...well, thinks.   I would never take the time to read this information, but listening on CD while driving makes for a very interesting ride.

What I am taking the time to read is Laura Ingram’s book Of Thee I Zing.  A hilarious look at the quirks of today’s culture…from muffin tops and sagger pants to body shots and rapper rants… Laura’s book is full of satirical (albeit sad) glimpses in today’s culture.  I find myself complaining about the culture while at the same time contributing to its demise.   And that’s the point of her book…we all do, in some form or another, contribute to the cultural climate.

So I’m reading two books…one written by a “liberal” the other by a “conservative” and I find them both uniquely informative.   Fascinating!

A word on the whole Tim Tebow thing.    First I am NOT a football fan!   I don’t understand the game or all the crazy hype.   I steer far, far away from the whole football scene.  It’s how I roll.   However, I live with three football crazed men and I hear it ALL!  Why do the media dislike Tim Tebow so vehemently?    He seems to be a polite, intelligent, talented, young man.   He lives his Faith out loud.   Tim Tebow is a Christian.  I’m thinking that if he were Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Wiccan or even Atheist and just as vocal on the field, no stink would be made.  The media and some football fanatics seem to be uncomfortable that this young man prays publically and openly believes the Bible.    Do I think God loves football?   Personally, I think He is indifferent about the game but I believe He loves Tim Tebow not as a football player, but as a man who is trying to be obedient to the True and Living God.   And the thing is…I don’t think God loves Tim Tebow any more than any other player, man, woman, or child in history.   Tim Tebow shouldn’t be put on a pedestal…he is human and will eventually fall off.  But Tim Tebow knows this and chooses to put God on the pedestal.   God never fails.   Touchdown!

 Oh wait!!!  It could be the whole intuitive/rational thinking thing of our outlandish culture.   What do you think? 

Thanks for reading, Rosie.

Living Deliberate In 2012

Happy New Year to anyone who might read my little blog. I have good intentions to write, but you know what “they” say about good intentions…. “Good intentions are not enough; they've never put an onion in the soup yet.”  Today I’m being deliberate, and putting the onion in the soup, so to speak.

The Holiday season was tough for me again this year. Each year when November rolls around, I seem to take a plunge deeper into the dark spot I tread in every day, with the weight of expectations pulling me farther under. Added to this year was a bad sinus infection that sent me to the doctor twice. BUT, I can say, the season wasn’t as difficult this year as in years past. I took more control of my time, and did what was best for me and the immediate family. I got through it without as many meltdowns or tears, and actually found myself smiling and laughing a few times on Christmas Day. I call that a small success, and take it appreciatively. If you struggle with depression as I do, then I'm sure you understand what I mean.

I used to write a family letter, and send out two-hundred cards every Christmas, but I didn't do that this year...it's too much. I used to bake hundreds of cookies, and decorate every square inch of my home, but I didn't do that this year either...just too much. I used to watch every Christmas special, and play Christmas music the entire month of December, but I didn't do that this year...again, too much.

I deliberately stayed away from Christmas music and TV specials until a few days before. I baked only a few (non-sugary) goodies. My gifts were very simple, and I did most of my shopping on-line, along with a few local purchases a day or so before Christmas. Christmas Eve was a relaxed luncheon at my in-laws. Christmas Day was church, a simple brunch with immediate family, and a short, relaxed visit to my Mother’s with some extended family. New Year’s Eve was spent quietly at home. My decorations are now down and stored away, and most of the goodies are gone. I’ve spent the last two days catching up on laundry. I'm so glad the season is over! Both my mental and physical health is better as well.

Although I don’t make resolutions, I do set a few goals each year. I’ve thought through what I want to accomplish this year, and will share them with you…

• I want to write more…at least once a week write a blog post. That is a reasonable goal for me. I want to quit comparing my work to others'. I read these beautifully written blog posts of others, and sometimes that keep me from writing my own, because I feel my voice is not good enough. Screw that!

• I want to sew and sell more…my greatest joy comes from sewing, and I always feel wonderful when someone wants to purchase something I’ve made. I think two projects a month are doable.

• I want to get back on a regular Wednesday night schedule in my Zumba class. This is the one thing I do that makes me feel better emotionally and physically. I need it.

• I want to read more non-fiction, and specifically learn HTML with CSS coding. I know some, but my education goal for 2012 is to be fluent.

• I desire more confidence in myself…not sure how to achieve that one yet, but I’m working on it...any suggestions?

• I want to worship my Creator more purely. This doesn’t mean being at church every time the doors are open. It means, when I attend, I want it to be a deliberate act of worship not an obligation to others. I desire my heart to always be in a state of worship and wonder.

• I want to live more simply, and continue to purge my life of “stuff”. The older I get the less “stuff” I want around me. It seems to suffocate me.

• I want to give my best to the computer class I’ve agreed to teach. I’m a true geek at heart, and want to share the joy of geekiness with others.

These are not amazing goals, very simple ones really, but they are enough for me. They are within boundaries to keep me sane; yet still give me a sense of accomplishment. They are concrete, but not to the point where I feel stuck. They also set perimeters to help me deal with those who want their life objectives to be mine also. I’m slowly learning what I need, and not worrying about what others expect. At forty-six you would think I’d have this figured out…not so!

Life’s a process, isn’t it?

I read a quote recently, but can’t remember who wrote it…wish I had kept the reference…

”Living a deliberate life is much better than living a life of habit.”

I like that. I think I’ll make it my mantra for 2011.

Thanks for reading, Rosie.