Isn't it odd that in order to strengthen my relationship with Christ, I had to step away from the church?
When I found that I could no longer worship in spirit and truth, that my anxiety level would increase every time I walked through the church doors, I realized I was not free in Christ because my personal convictions of worship and service did not align with the majority. That is not to say I felt my own convictions were superior, on the contrary, I felt they were inferior. I was expected, even required, to participate in service opportunities that I in no way felt led by the Holy Spirit. I was participating out of obligation and guilt and it was like a cinder block setting on my chest; a weight too heavy for me to bear. The verse "My yoke is easy, My burden is light" would often invade my thoughts and I would say, "No, Lord, they are not." And this begin to effect my mental and emotional state. When I finally stopped "doing" long enough and started "being", I understood that the weight I was carrying was not of God, but of man. That is why it was so heavy! In all my busyness, I could not get a vision of what God wanted for me personally. I think this is true for the church as a whole. We have become so busy doing church work, that we are neglecting our vision for the work of the Church.
The meaning of religion, in the dictionary, has to do with a belief in and a commitment to something or someone. It also means that a person is bound to the something or someone. Commitment to God and being bound to Him is not a bad thing; the problem is that most people are bound to a set of rules and regulations, most of which were instituted by man, not God! I desperately needed a sabbatical from "religion" and I boldly took it. Even though it cut across the grain of societal expectations, even though it meant neglecting church duties, I decided that listening to Jesus and learning his ways were more important than anything else I could choose. No one can rip this precious spiritual truth away from me. When I began to view my relationship with Christ in the light of how God saw me, rather than how others saw me, my perspective begin to change.
To Be Continued.....