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Sunday, March 8, 2009

Adoption Is Not For Sissies! Part Two

I have a childhood friend who adopted a little girl from China about three years ago. She blogged her family’s story from the beginning and their story was and continues to be a wonderful blessing to others and me. I knew nothing about adoption before following her story. I know much more now, but I still have many questions. Recently, I e-mailed her and said, "Hey, what do you think about doing this, if I have questions, others do too. Let me use my blog as a platform to share what you know." I do not pretend to be “the blog where you go to find information regarding adoption,” there are many more well written blogs in the sphere that already exist. However, every life touches another life in some way. What may reach someone through one avenue, may not reach another. Divine appointments are what I call them. My goal is to reach one person but one person may be the catalyst for ten others; thus, my series on “Adoption Is Not For Sissies." If you missed Part One, you can catchup here. I apologize to my friend that Part Two is later than intended.

God directed you to China to adopt. What did you do next? Make me knowledgeable.

If you feel led to adopt internationally, you must be willing to do your homework. There are decisions to be made that should not be attempted until you do your research. I love researching what is “out there” and this task provided me with hours of “fun”!

What did you research first?

Choosing an adoption agency should be your first priority. Here are some factors to consider when looking for an agency:

Do they have an international or domestic program?
Do I want to work with a local agency, or am I willing to work with an
out-of-state agency?
Do they sponsor a country from where I would consider adoption?
Are they reputable?
What are others saying about that agency?
Request an information packet from that agency.
Are their clients happy with the services they provide?
Are their fees comparable to other agencies?
How long have they been in business?
How old is the specific program in which you are interested?
How many children are successfully adopted through their program?

Research, research, research is the name of the game. The best information that you can possibly get is from others who have adopted through that agency. If you do not know anyone, ask the agency for some references. Of course, expect to receive only the most positive people with agency references. I narrowed down my top three agencies and requested information from each agency. It is a laboring process to choose an agency and many people choose too quickly with later regrets. Do not make that choice without filling yourself with information and knowledge.

An agency has been chosen. Now what do I do, young old friend?

After you reach a decision about an agency, the fun really begins! International adoption is about paperwork! Lots and lots of paperwork! Honestly, the paperwork can be extremely overwhelming. It seems endless at times. One thing that may surprise you about adoption is how your life suddenly becomes an open book to your agency. This is their job; but wow, it can seem intrusive. You must lay your life uncensored on the table. You will be fingerprinted for FBI clearance in some cases, you must disclose any background information that you feel may surface, no matter how minor. You must give your agency information about your health, including weight! YIKES! And your finances are not protected either. You must disclose savings, checking, retirement accounts, investments, net worth, debt, and the list goes on. Your life suddenly becomes public to your social worker and your agency. Your social worker is charged with the responsibility of making sure you are able to support and raise this child appropriately. They are required to submit a home study conducted in a series of three interviews and one home visit. They will interview other members of your family and check to see you have adequate space to add another child to your household. Their recommendation is what you will need to say whether you can adopt. While your social worker is working to complete your home study, you will be working on other documents that will be used to complete your file. Some of these include: medical forms for each member of the family, certified copies of birth certificates, marriage/divorce certificates, letters from employers verifying income, income tax return copies, immigration forms, shot records for pets, police clearance letters, FBI clearance (in some cases), USCIS clearance (in all cases) and that is just a few. See what I mean by overwhelming at times?

I found that if you break the paperwork down into groups, it makes it much more manageable and you do not feel you are standing at the base of a mountain wondering if you will ever get to the top. Your social worker will be there to hold your hand every step of the way. You will find that your social worker will be a huge blessing to your life and to the process. The social worker will become your closest contact, your best friend, be a wealth of information, and aid you in bringing your child home.

The wonderful day will eventually arrive when you have everything you need for your file to be complete. You or your agency will submit your paperwork to the proper authorities and it will finally be out of your hands and on its way to wherever it is supposed to be! This is when the wait really begins. The wait times vary from program to program, be sure to consider this factor when you are deciding from where to adopt.

The wait is the hardest part of the whole process – much harder, you will find, than the mountain of paperwork!

Once you are matched with a child, who is called a referral, you will find yourself in the home stretch. It is a HUGE relief to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Soon after that time, you will travel to bring your child home. Oh what a feeling that will be. The sweetest feeling imaginable! And suddenly, you find that all the paperwork, stress, tears, laughter, waiting, emotional roller coaster rides, and general nervousness will all disappear in a matter of seconds when your sweet child is placed in your arms. What a day of rejoicing that will be!

To be continued………………………………
Thanks for reading, Rosie.

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