Sunday, August 30, 2009

Tore Down a la Rimbaud

I am trying to find my voice. Seriously, it seems to have vanished. It’s been a tough summer. First, a tragic ATV accident caused the death of Carter’s friend and then the sudden, unexpected death of a dear high school friend of mine through me for a loop. A life change preparing Carter to move out plus preparing for my fifth year of home schooling Isaac, and the recent sad news my dad received regarding the spread of cancer to his brain has been too much for my mind to process. While it is usually therapeutic to write my thoughts down and share it on this crazy venue, my quick typing fingers can not keep up with the emotions. What can I say? My soul has been whisked away. I’m trying fervently to find my soul and words again, so hang with me.

I relate many of my emotions to music and the most appropriate song I can find to express myself right now is “Tore Down a la Rimbaud” by Van Morrison, of who I am a huge fan. The title of the song derives from French poet Arthur Rimbaud who became famous for his poetry at the age of fifteen in 1869 and who quit writing six years later. Ironically, this inspired Morrison to write again. He had begun writing this song in 1975 during what turned out to be a three year professionally inactive time period. After eight years, all the words finally came together. Amazing! Eight years!!!!!!

Anyway, the words to this song ring true with me in many ways. Some emotions are so personal that I could never find the words to express them. I am thankful for those who express it clearly enough for me to relate.

Tore Down a la Rimbaud
Showed me pictures in the gallery
Showed me novels on the shelf
Put my hands across the table
Gave me knowledge of myself.
Showed me visions, showed me nightmares
Gave me dreams that never end
Showed me light out of the tunnel
When there was darkness all around instead.

I was just Tore down a la Rimbaud
And I wish my message would come
Tore down a la Rimbaud; you know it's hard some time
You know it's hard some time.

Showed me ways and means and motions
Showed me what it's like to be
Gave me days of deep devotions
Showed me things that I cannot see.

When I was Tore down a la Rimbaud
And I wish my purpose would come
Tore down a la Rimbaud; you know it's hard some time.
You know it's hard some time.

Showed me different shapes and colors
Showed me many different roads
Gave me very clear instructions
When I was in the dark night of the soul.

When I was Tore down a la Rimbaud
And I wish my writing would come
Tore down a la Rimbaud; you know it's hard some time.
you know it's hard some time.


Truly, it is hard some time. Thanks for reading, Rosie.