Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Autumn Reflections

My attitude is a littler lighter since my last post.   While writing You Can't Always Get What You Need, I was in the middle of two very busy weeks.   My sweet sister-in-love underwent back surgery and spent seven days in the hospital, Isaac returned to traditional school after five years of homeschooling (an adjustment curve was needed), my work schedule was full and on top of that, early one morning I discovered a deceased man in my front yard from a motorcycle accident.  It wasn't pretty and without saying more, slightly disconcerting.  Isn't life bizarre sometimes?  Anyway, after the two hour crying jag I threw in my closet floor, I am feeling much better and want to dispel some concerns my friends have voiced.  I am fine.  You can barely see the scars! 

Currently, I am sitting in my favorite spot.  My front porch swing in the cool morning breeze has always been my favorite place to reflect, meditate, clarify and sort my jumbled thoughts.  My neighbors own horses and I love watching the frisky colts in the morning.  They are so sweet and full of energy....aah, I remember those days. 

Life feels a little less stressful and I think cooler weather, blue skies and the season change plays an enormous role.  Autumn is my favorite season.  I enjoy watching the Master Painter create His magnum opus.   Autumn reminds me I control nothing; a nice prod for a control freak.   This realization takes the pressure off me and suggests that life is a continual cycle of change.  I can either flow with the change or fight the change, but ultimately things change. 

If all goes as planned, I will be spending the weekend in downtown Ashville, North Carolina, with some inspiring women bloggers.  A nice respite away from the testosterone filled man-cave I lovingly call home is needed from time to time.  I am agog with excitement!  Hopefully, I will have some great photos to share.

Thanks for reading, Rosie.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

You Know It's A Bad Day When...

An odd, intimate relationship is ending. My gynecologist is retiring, a fact about which I am not at all happy! The man I have seen once a year for the last twenty-plus years regarding my gynecological health is abandoning me just as I am entering perimenopause. The nerve of this man! I trusted him with my vagina, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries. He has seen me through infertility, pregnancy, birth, depression, surgery, and holds confidential sexual details about me in a thick folder. He was my bosom-buddy. In minuscule yearly visits, he kept abreast of my life. His response to my dismay? “Dana, I’m 67 years old, I am old enough and deserve to retire.” My response: “Yes, but I am not old enough for you to retire.” I don’t want a young new GYN; I want my old used one. How do you find a new GYN? The interview process could get….awkward.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

You Can't Always Get What You Need

The church wants my time and money.
My mother wants my time and undying devotion.
My brother wants my time and help.
My husband wants my time and my body.
My children want my twenty-four hour maid services.
My dog wants me to rub his tummy all the time.
The school wants my daily schedule to match theirs.
Work wants me available any time.            
Friends want to know what time I can get together.
Acquaintances want to know if I can spare the time to type a "little" something.

I need to worship in peace.
I need my mother to give me some space.
I need my brother to understand.
I need my husband to romance me.
I need my children to take responsibility.
I need my dog to stop barking.
I need the school to get over it already.
I need my friends to be patient with me.
I need to tell acquaintances "NO."
I need to feel free.

What do you need?   I NEED to know!