The heart of adoption began at creation. God created man and woman in his image, crowned them as “very good”, and desired a personal relationship with them. He adopted humankind as his very own. Not to manipulate, but to love. However, man disobeyed God and as a result, God eventually had to begin again. He chose Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, He allowed years of slavery and then – he chose Moses. Adoption is recorded in the Bible beginning with Moses. Moses -- born into slavery, given up by his birth mother for his protection, drawn from the water by Pharaoh’s daughter and raised as a Prince of Egypt. The heart of Pharaoh’s daughter held compassion. The heart of Moses’ mother held compassion. Compassionate hearts linked together by obedience brought about an event of Biblical proportions. God used an adopted Jewish baby boy to bring His law to His people and then eventually to the Gentiles through the living Word Jesus Christ. We are adopted into God’s great plan. Adoption is Biblical and therefore significant.
God calls some people to adopt children. Whether it is because they cannot have biological children, they choose to adopt rather than have biological children, or maybe they have biological children but God moves their heart to add to their family through adoption; either way it is a superior calling. I admire those who answer this call. I have been told that adoption is not for sissies! You give birth to biological children through the reproductive system; you give birth to adopted children through the heart. Neither is easy, both are painful.
I know this, not because I have adopted, but because I have followed a longtime, but not so old friend, through the process of international adoption. Almost four years ago, her pastor husband surprised her with their plans to adopt for her fortieth birthday. She had been praying for several years that her husband’s heart would be moved to adopt. You see they already had one grown son and another in his teens, why start over? Because God’s ways are not our ways and when His Spirit convicts your heart, you have one of two choices. Obey or Disobey. They chose to obey.
I am writing this not because she needs help telling her story. She chronicled it all and I will eventually give you the link to that. I am writing this to understand the topic better myself. I have questions. Questions that I am not comfortable asking just anyone. Questions that others may have. Questions I know she can answer and desires to share. Therefore, this is first of several pieces on Adoption is Not for the Sissies.
International or Domestic Adoption?
From the beginning, the choice of whether to adopt internationally or domestically is something all adoptive parents must decide. Why choose domestic adoption over international adoption, or vice versa? These questions are valid. If you are considering adoption, in the process or adopting, or have adopted in the past, you WILL ask yourself these questions. I posed this question to my friend who has been through adoption. Her answer may surprise you.
“Let me be frank, my first thought in answering that question is that it is really none of anyone’s business; and I still, to some degree, feel that way. However, I have come to realize that part of my purpose in the world of adoption is to educate people. I once had a woman who worked where I bank ask me, “It is probably none of my business,” (you know you are in for it when the question is prefaced with that phrase), “But why would you go all the way to China to adopt a baby when they are “giving” them away on the street corners in America?” My quick-witted response was, “Because my daughter is in China.” An attempt at sarcasm actually boiled down to be the truth; my daughter was in China. We knew this and were confident in the knowledge; therefore, looking at any country other than China for our first adoption was not an option. God called us to adopt internationally from China, period.”
Did God audibly tell you to adopt? “No.”
Did God audibly tell you to adopt from China? “No.”
Then how did you know with such certainty that you had a daughter in China?
“If you are Christ Follower and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then you can understand our certainty. Until you experience His supernatural leading, it is almost impossible for me to explain my conviction. Because of our personal relationship with Christ on an everyday basis – communication with the Father - there was never a decision about whether we were going to adopt domestically or internationally. I am okay with answering the question and will do so to the best of my ability, but I have long since stopped defending our decision to adopt internationally instead of domestically. I will no longer explain that no child is more deserving of a loving family than another because of the color of their skin, their ethnic background, or the country they are from – all children, no matter their country of origin – deserve a family that will be theirs forever. A child is a child is a child, and they all deserve a family, both here and in other countries.”
“People have a tendency to believe that families adopt internationally because it is the “Hollywood” thing or the trendy thing to do. Let me be brutally honest, if I’m going to do something trendy, I would do things a little differently. I WOULD NOT scrimp and save every extra dime to be able to bring my child home. I WOULD NOT endure the long wait to see my child’s face or wait to travel to bring her home. I WOULD NOT subject myself to lying awake at night, crying out to God to care for her while I am on the other side of the world. I WOULD NOT let my thoughts be consumed by whether or not she is being fed, loved, held, rocked, cared for or any other basic need all children deserve. I would spend my $25,000 on an in-ground pool and a nice pair or Prada sunglasses and lounge away my carefree days To hear someone say that people are adopting because it is the “in” thing to do makes me laugh out loud. Again, I am back to educating the uneducated.”
“I believe that God has ordained adopting in my family’s life. We eat, sleep, and breathe adoption. However, I am here to tell you, adopting is one of the HARDEST journeys I have ever traveled. I have always been told, “Nothing worth having is easy.” With the exception of saving our souls, adoption is the sweetest gift God has given our family. We will always feel that we are the privileged ones to have been allowed to travel to China and bring home the daughter that was created to be ours before the very foundation of the world was laid. We are blessed. I truly believe others are missing a great blessing by not being obedient to the Father’s call and I believe that the tough choice lies in “do I adopt?” or “do I not adopt?” and not “do I adopt domestically or internationally?” Once that decision is made, you just follow your heart --but hold on for the ride of your life.”
To be continued…………………………
God calls some people to adopt children. Whether it is because they cannot have biological children, they choose to adopt rather than have biological children, or maybe they have biological children but God moves their heart to add to their family through adoption; either way it is a superior calling. I admire those who answer this call. I have been told that adoption is not for sissies! You give birth to biological children through the reproductive system; you give birth to adopted children through the heart. Neither is easy, both are painful.
I know this, not because I have adopted, but because I have followed a longtime, but not so old friend, through the process of international adoption. Almost four years ago, her pastor husband surprised her with their plans to adopt for her fortieth birthday. She had been praying for several years that her husband’s heart would be moved to adopt. You see they already had one grown son and another in his teens, why start over? Because God’s ways are not our ways and when His Spirit convicts your heart, you have one of two choices. Obey or Disobey. They chose to obey.
I am writing this not because she needs help telling her story. She chronicled it all and I will eventually give you the link to that. I am writing this to understand the topic better myself. I have questions. Questions that I am not comfortable asking just anyone. Questions that others may have. Questions I know she can answer and desires to share. Therefore, this is first of several pieces on Adoption is Not for the Sissies.
International or Domestic Adoption?
From the beginning, the choice of whether to adopt internationally or domestically is something all adoptive parents must decide. Why choose domestic adoption over international adoption, or vice versa? These questions are valid. If you are considering adoption, in the process or adopting, or have adopted in the past, you WILL ask yourself these questions. I posed this question to my friend who has been through adoption. Her answer may surprise you.
“Let me be frank, my first thought in answering that question is that it is really none of anyone’s business; and I still, to some degree, feel that way. However, I have come to realize that part of my purpose in the world of adoption is to educate people. I once had a woman who worked where I bank ask me, “It is probably none of my business,” (you know you are in for it when the question is prefaced with that phrase), “But why would you go all the way to China to adopt a baby when they are “giving” them away on the street corners in America?” My quick-witted response was, “Because my daughter is in China.” An attempt at sarcasm actually boiled down to be the truth; my daughter was in China. We knew this and were confident in the knowledge; therefore, looking at any country other than China for our first adoption was not an option. God called us to adopt internationally from China, period.”
Did God audibly tell you to adopt? “No.”
Did God audibly tell you to adopt from China? “No.”
Then how did you know with such certainty that you had a daughter in China?
“If you are Christ Follower and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then you can understand our certainty. Until you experience His supernatural leading, it is almost impossible for me to explain my conviction. Because of our personal relationship with Christ on an everyday basis – communication with the Father - there was never a decision about whether we were going to adopt domestically or internationally. I am okay with answering the question and will do so to the best of my ability, but I have long since stopped defending our decision to adopt internationally instead of domestically. I will no longer explain that no child is more deserving of a loving family than another because of the color of their skin, their ethnic background, or the country they are from – all children, no matter their country of origin – deserve a family that will be theirs forever. A child is a child is a child, and they all deserve a family, both here and in other countries.”
“People have a tendency to believe that families adopt internationally because it is the “Hollywood” thing or the trendy thing to do. Let me be brutally honest, if I’m going to do something trendy, I would do things a little differently. I WOULD NOT scrimp and save every extra dime to be able to bring my child home. I WOULD NOT endure the long wait to see my child’s face or wait to travel to bring her home. I WOULD NOT subject myself to lying awake at night, crying out to God to care for her while I am on the other side of the world. I WOULD NOT let my thoughts be consumed by whether or not she is being fed, loved, held, rocked, cared for or any other basic need all children deserve. I would spend my $25,000 on an in-ground pool and a nice pair or Prada sunglasses and lounge away my carefree days To hear someone say that people are adopting because it is the “in” thing to do makes me laugh out loud. Again, I am back to educating the uneducated.”
“I believe that God has ordained adopting in my family’s life. We eat, sleep, and breathe adoption. However, I am here to tell you, adopting is one of the HARDEST journeys I have ever traveled. I have always been told, “Nothing worth having is easy.” With the exception of saving our souls, adoption is the sweetest gift God has given our family. We will always feel that we are the privileged ones to have been allowed to travel to China and bring home the daughter that was created to be ours before the very foundation of the world was laid. We are blessed. I truly believe others are missing a great blessing by not being obedient to the Father’s call and I believe that the tough choice lies in “do I adopt?” or “do I not adopt?” and not “do I adopt domestically or internationally?” Once that decision is made, you just follow your heart --but hold on for the ride of your life.”
To be continued…………………………
If you have adopted, are thinking of adopting, are in the middle of your adoption, have family members who have adopted, or like me, just have questions regarding adoption, I would love to hear what you have to say. Please feel free to express yourself.
Thanks for reading, Rosie
2 comments:
"My daughter is in China".....what a GREAT answer. Good for her!
You're right, adoption is not for sissies! In fact, many women who "make an adoption plan" don't realize that grief, depression, and ideas of suicide will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
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